Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation